Anonymous asked “I'm at work and I'm about to cry. I don't want to cry, can you say something funny?”
ONE TIME AT SCHOOL LET ME REMIND YOU I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL SO THEY ALL WEAR SHOIRT ASS SKIRTS OKAY SO ONE TIME THIS GIRL LIKE TRIPPED AND HER SKIRT FLEW UP AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE TIFFANH GO FUCKING HELP HER UP AND I WAS LIKE PARALYZED STARING AT HER ASS AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE FUCKING SHIT TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN AND SHE LITERALLY HIT ME WITH A BIBLE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS NONE
This kills me every time
"TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN"
Lily Myers Shrinking Women (X)
Sometimes I English very well but sometimes no
Smile, because its free!
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Ladies, and gentlemen, this is the captain. If you look out the right side of the aircraft you will notice flight 195 challenging us to a race.
please put on your seat belts because it’s about to get raw as hell up in this bitch *sound of plane diving*
7 reasons to visit Tel Aviv
When picturing Israel, it’s easy to immediately associate with Jerusalem and all the turmoil, uproar and conflicting ideologies that dominate headlines. But a 45-minute bus ride from the capital will take you to Tel Aviv, a bustling cosmopolitan city situated on the Mediterranean coastline. While most tourists find the city to be a convenient place to fit in a beach day, Tel Aviv is a rising metropolis for art, food, fashion and nightlife.
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Look at you, held together by your pills and your drink.
Don’t forget my pathetic love of country.
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn